Laws Not Taught In Physics

Laws Not Taught In Physics

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands are covered with grease, your nose will begin to itch & you'll have to
pee.

2.Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the leastaccessible place in the universe.

3.Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5.Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

6.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

7.Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8.Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

9.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

11.The Coffee Law - It never fails as you sit down to a cup of coffee, your boss will ask you to do something lasting till the coffee is cold.

12.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

13.Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated
to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

14.Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

15. Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

16.Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet!

17.Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

18.Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Law of the Internet - If you don't forward this to your friends, your belly button will unscrew. Really... It's true. I read it on the Internet!

Look deep in the eyes of a man and you can tell what truth if any is in his heart - My Apache Grandfather...Gosheven