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Simple Directions

Simple Directions

Playing around with my new iTouch, I decided to get directions to my son's base from my home in Maryland.

So I typed "Wahiawa, Hawaii."
I got turn-by-turn directions until I hit the coast.

Then I was told, "Kayak across the Pacific Ocean entering Hawaii."

Cartoon Picture:
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/59/b2/1a/59b21a3d293f4abb821dc44760b05f2e.jpg

Link: https://www.rd.com/joke/simple-directions-joke-2/

Linguists and Butterflies

Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.

The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this delicate insect flies. It's like flutter-by, flutter-by."

"Oh, no!" said the Spanish linguist, "the word for "butterfly" in Spanish is "mariposa". Now, this word expresses so beautifully the vibrant colours on the butterfly's wings. What could be a more apt name for such a brilliant creature? Spanish is the most eloquent language!"

"Papillon!" says the French linguist, "papillon! This word expresses the fragility of the butterfly's wings and body. This is the most fitting name for such a delicate and ethereal insect. French is the most eloquent language!"

At this the German linguist stands up, and demands: "Und vot is rongk mit 'SCHMETTERLING'?"


Link: http://www.workjoke.com/linguists-jokes.html

Re: Hello, Zanglers!

Hello, Stephen!
Yes, many here have been overbusy, roaming from site to site to find friends and friends' friends, and many are struggling to follow up with things.
 
It will be nice to see you more active again.

A big thank you to you.

Get a Raise Joke

Get A Raise Joke

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary!!!
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon
Your$ $incerely,
Norman $oh

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well .
NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,
Manager

http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/80/funny-story-3/

Another "Green" Christmas And New Year Season

 
Link: The explanation for a "green" Xmas Time



But don't worry, Frosty is back!

Senior Citizen Test

Senior Citizen Test 
(Or Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously)

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercising the brain is as important as exercising muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," give up now and do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk"

What do cows drink?

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks , what is a green house made from?

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks," why the heck are you still reading these??? If you said "glass," go on to Question 4.

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .) Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany . Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land"?

Answer: You don't bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next question.

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales . In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on . In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!! Now pass this along to all your friends and pray they do better than you.

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
Read more: http://www.joke-db.com/all/4#ixzz2UZ3PQFhk

Re: Amazing Landscapes

Chocolate Hills, Philippines

 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chocolate_Hills

Davie Bowie Bowed Out Today

My sincerest condolences to all those who will miss him:

http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-35278872

Re: Have you checked IHaveSolved.com?

As it turned out, I had to - too - lol.

Sad News

One of the most popular French singers left us last Saturday:

http://www.theworldnewstimes.com/post/1658106/france-famous-french-singer-michel-delpech-passes-away.html

Some might remember or have heard about the Isle of Wight Festival, which was also a successful theme song by Michel Delpech:

- Wight is Wight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJuFkpIYfUk